Letting You In

I always use to shy away from anger. To me it meant physical harm. In other words, if you got angry, not just mad, but angry then it would come out as hurting someone physically; punching, kicking, fighting, killing. So I stayed far away from that anger. But it also has a bad effect when you dont let it go. It tends to build up and build up bad waiting to explode. And you never know what could set that off. Now one of my brother struggles with this so very often. He isnt afraid to be angry and lash out. He fuels his through alcohol and drugs though. He finally decided to confront the drug use and has made his way away from that. But dont let him have a drink. The anger latches on and rears its ugly head. Just ask the officers at intake who had to wrestle with him when he got taken in for a DUI. But he isnt the only one in the family to struggle with this animal. I have seen it manifests in all 7 of us. In different shapes of course.

Well, I started this blog at a time when i was REALLY angry. And I needed a way to vent - purge myself of this anger that choked me out every day. At the time, it was really refreshing to let it out and say what I wanted to say without edit. And the more I've done it, the better I have felt about me. I've been able to get a hold of the crap that soared through my blood and toss it out. Release the beast! Enough so that I could move forward in a relationship and in my life. I think this has been an important journey. Now dont get me wrong in thinking that now that I am married and all is settled that I wont have anything to write about, I will. I hope that I can continue to learn as I get older. And I hope those that read it learn too [that you arent the only one]