I got into a relationship with the love of my life at the time and I made every effort to stay small because I felt like he motivated me to get up in the mornings and get out and walk. But as soon as that relationship ended, I just lost track. I gained a little back.
I started a new relationship and stayed pretty neutral with my weight. No up or down and I didn't feel bad really. When that relationship ended a year later I took my sadness out on the new treadmill I bought! I felt like I was doing very good. I was 30 and I felt good about my job. I felt like I was over the previous relationship. I had even started dating again.And then I met who would later become my husband and I never put any mind to my weight again.
I got pregnant 2 years into the relationship and knew for sure that once I had the baby I would lose the weight I had gained, if not more, because I had done it before. Breastfeeding is the best kinda activity without actually moving! And it did, but I was in a tormented relationship and I was starting to get very depressed. I went back to an ex, but was torn between the two and I ate to compensate for the sadness. Then I got pregnant with my third child 5 months after the second was born and that really sent me further into a cave. I was sad and ate with no mind to what or how much. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I was so sad. My boyfriend was in another relationship while I was pregnant with our second child and I was stressed out. I was out of work and money and had to move out of my place when I was 5 months pregnant. So I started to notice that even though I wasnt eating anything extraordinary, I was stressed beyond capacity and it kept the weight at a stand still. Then I had her and lost 45 pounds immediately......and immediately gained that and more back not even a month later.
And I havent been able to lose the weight, even if I dropped it off in a remote desert 1000 miles away.
I have gotten married, feel like I resolved the issues with my husband, eat so differently than I did before; more veggies, less meat. Started a being more diligent in practicing Faith, walk and went to the gym for a while. And yet and still, I am stuck. I am scared though. Afraid to have heart trouble and die. I am full of anxiety about my health. I never imagined being without insurance. I can empathize with those that dont have it.
Looking back on it, I should have really appreciated me because I was not as big as I thought I was. Not even in high school. There is so much more that I did and havent even delved into as it relates to food. But its starting to get annoying because I have no idea what to do. I complain and cry and then I'm at souplantation and try to rationalize it as being better than. Whats a girl to do? I am from this day forward becoming a vegetarian.
Good bye Del Taco...you will be missed.....
*o*o*o*o*Here's to doing something about it NOW!*o*o*o*o*
Parmesan, Avocado, and Rocket Pasta
Serves 4
3.5 cups of wholemeal pasta1/3 cup of rocket leaves, roughly chopped
2 avocados
1 clove of garlic, minced
2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon of balsamic vinegar
A good handful of grated Parmesan cheese
A good pinch of sea salt and ground black pepper
Cook the pasta according the instructions on the pack.
While the pasta is cooking, add the rocket, Parmesan, garlic, salt and pepper to a mixing bowl and set aside.
When the pasta is cooked, drain it and then add it to the bowl.
Pour in the vinegar and olive oil and stir the pasta until it is nicely coated. You should end up with stringy cheesy green pasta- YUM!
Slice the avocados in half and remove the stones, slice thinly and add to the pasta.
Serve straight away and devour!
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