Tonight I am sick. I caught a cold. I think its because I feel a little bit of pressure with this move.
But today because I felt so bad I think it really had me vunerable to the feeling of being a little fed up with the neighborhood around me. Truth is I am so tired of driving through the neighborhood and seeing sadness and poverty and dirtiness all around. I get tired of seeing houses worn down and people standing on the corners like "mayors" of the block. I get tired of seeing women with no hope walking the streets being used like puppets. It wears on you after a while. Part of me has started to feel just as sad and dirty. I admit for a minute, minus the fact I don't sit out on the corner chatting it up all day making a spectacle, i felt like I was not much better. I don't have a nine to five either. Its wearing on me and i've grown weary of the mentality of feeling down and out.
That's why I can't wait to move. Its a quiet neighborhood where we have applied. And if its Gods will for us to be there I will be happy to feel like I have a place to flourish again.
The bright side...I was reminded yesterday that no matter what I think my agenda is, God still continues to do all things for His purpose. And it is promised that all things are done for good. Its best I get hooked up to His plan. :)
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