Late Night Confessions

Back on the couch. Kids are working their way back to sleep. I've missed these nights. Lately it seems we get home about midnight (just in time to watch Law & Order though). And so I haven't had much time for even getting on my computer and doing schoolwork.

My brother and his wife had a situation escalate recently that had the cops involved and us driving out to pick him up at 1 in the morning. And surprisingly dealing with that in the past week has made me grow more in my own marriage. They are working on theirs too but I didn't are it being something that would affect me as much as it has.

There is an 11 year gap between my brother and me and in all honesty its supposed to be them learning from us, but I think we are both learning quite a bit from each other. My husband and I are reminded of two things; One, to not take the past between us so seriously anymore. Yes we had lying, cheating, and lots of hurtful behavior between us. But life is meant to be enjoyed and we've made our commitment now to one another and God to do that. Whether I forget this that or the other or whether he doesn't jump up and pitch in as often as I like is no big deal. What's important is how we treat one another with kindness and respect because of the partnership. That we look out for each other at all times. And that we share who we are and what we want to be with each other.

And the second thing we've learned, and most important to me, is that because of the environment we grew up in as kids, sometimes it takes us being extraordinary in our lives and in our relationships. We CANNOT follow in the footsteps of our parents. Even though that's what we saw and it may be all we know on how to deal with one another, it doesn't make it right and we have to work 10x harder to do something different. We have to do better and work harder than the average bear. We have no choice.

And so my marriage this week seems a little bit tighter. I have to follow the same advice I give to my younger brother. But I have to say that he has really become someone very important in my life and our relationship has also grown a little bit tighter. Something that will be remembered for all my life. Who knew I could learn from the young punks (using my best old man on the porch voice) :)
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