I think fear will always be a part of who I am. I lived in it for seven of the most important years of my childhood. And it shaped me in ways that I haven't been able to shake. Despite what I know about Gods grace, love & mercy, I still find it difficult to not think that something bad will happen. And more importantly, I am learning, that I believe I deserve something bad to happen. I figure if I can get over that hump then I may have a chance. In the meantime it's still so difficult to shake fear. Certainly isn't because I don't trust God; I don't trust life. Its too fickle and random and unfair to the natural eye. Keeps me afraid quite often.
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