If I Die Before I Wake....

Shingles, double mastectomy, heart attacks and death. These are the issues many of my friends are dealing with. I could not imagine having to endure these physical traumas. I have always believed I am more prone to emotional trauma rather than the physical kind. I think the worst physical trauma I endured was childbirth. And God conveniently created a mechanism in us to forget what that pain is really like days after it has occurred. So I don't know the trauma of broken anything other than my heart.

I worry incessantly about dying. About not being able to see my kids grow before I have to go back to heaven. I worry so much that I already have my funeral plans in place. The Chef can not stand the talk of it. But even from the grave I want to be able to control it all! I want perfection even in my death. :)

I ran across this blog regarding Breast Cancer and since my auntie and a good friend of mine now bear the scars of survival, I am spreading the message. It is strange how it seems to be creeping up around me and closer to me. I wonder quietly is it more prevalent than we know and why?

Just Ask offers a breast and ovarian cancer screening and is encouraging people to share 15 things that I want to enjoy in my lifetime as a reminder to be aware of my health. Want to enter? Head over to TodaysMama.com to get the details.

So I am writing my 15 items. my "bucket list". I know I have ideas about what I want to accomplish but this was harder than I thought.
1.buy a home with a huge backyard
2. be debt free
3. live in hawaii
4. work as a volunteer at a rape center
5. see all three of my kids get married and or become parents
6. take a cruise ... a long one
7. leave a legacy (and some money) for the kids
8. write a book
9. lose 100lbs
10. tell my daughter the truth
11. pay most of the money i owe my mom
12. travel to canada, greek isles, france, haiti
13. see the aurora borealis (northern lights)
15. make a full time living as a photographer

i have so many more now that i have the hang of this (like give $1million to my church or help the hubby open a resaurant) but those 15 will do for now.