I always hate it when its one in the morning and I have a million and one thoughts on my mind. Its quiet, the family is asleep and I am left to my own thoughts that have taunted me throughout the day:
1. chuck is checking out. he is my moms neighbor who loaned us the 3k that was so sadly stolen from us. and he only has 6 weeks, if not less, to live. in an instance he has forgotten who everyone is and his health has deteriorated. It leaves you feeling empty, angry, and sad. We thanked him in word but not properly with repayment before he goes. No welcome to the new restaurant you helped start. eegghh. it kinda makes me feel so very sad.
2. why is "he" ignoring me? why the f- do i care? why am i not running off with him to get married? why am i asking these questions? im not angry at the fiance anymore so why am i nervous? this wedding stuff really makes me anxious...
3. i miss my "ex". i think he called. i cant prove it. it sounded like her voice when i called back the number on caller id. his wife, ya know. thats cool. he needs to stick with her. i did what God asked and let him go but i really thought he would just be gone. I wonder though if all is good. That i wonder. I know they wont and havent split, even though he tried to make me feel bad that they had. so i just wanna know hes ok. maybe thats a sign he is. hey i dont even think i ever told that story....
so many people i wanna say sorry to.
No comments:
Post a Comment