One of my dearest girlfriends lost her mother today. I can't help think about what it would be like losing my mom. Now my mom & I are not best of friends in any way but she is still my mom. And I recognize that having her is still a blessing.
I can't stand death. It gives me anxiety on a regular because I am more worried about me dying before I get a chance to see my kids grow.
And I can remember the days when I was young and hated myself and my life and wanted so bad to die. I begged God daily to let me return back to Him. And now that I appreciate and understand life much better, and my relationship and walk with God is much stronger, I don't want to go quite yet. I have more at stake now. Its so ironic and so nerve-wracking all at the same time.
I pray and hope you will to for my girlfriend for strength through this time.
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Losing your mom is rough. Of course, I know. I wish I didn't. And I too have anxiety about death for the sake of my kids. Knowing how it felt to lose my mom before she had the chance to see me get married or see her grandchildren... I feel extremely sad for her (though yes, I know she is with God and feeling sad for her is silly), but those were things she looked forward to. And she was robbed of them. And I was robbed of them as well. I worry about death a lot. Not because I am afraid of where it will take me, but because I know it will hurt those left behind.
ReplyDeleteI know its been half a month since you posted this, but I will pray for your friend. I know that life without her mom will be a challenge for quite a while yet.